I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
