Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
