Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
