Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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