I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
