Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
