Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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