I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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