Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
