we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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