I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
