I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
