At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
