piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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