That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
sarcasm needs its own font
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
