How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
