you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
