if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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