Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
