They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
