wanna go halves on a baby?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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