Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
