I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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