if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
