I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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