I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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