I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
