Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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