i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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