Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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