Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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