i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
