I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
