and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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