ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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