I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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