ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
