I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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