you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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