Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
