I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
