is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
