Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
