this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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