she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You have to summon your inner elephant
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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