After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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