found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
