so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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