i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
