why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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